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Overcoming my insecurities

Who is it to blame? that a lot of us feel insecure?

When it comes to insecurities and standards I have often wondered if we should blame ourselves or the media, or ourselves for allowing media to impose such unrealistic beauty and social standards that the majority of people can’t compete with.

At some point of my life, I have managed to rise above most of my insecurities, one of which was language, English isn’t my first language so I doubted myself a lot before starting a blog in English.

I never thought of myself as perfect, I still don’t but I’ve learned to accept my flaws and see them as part of what makes me myself.

If I’m speaking in public, I get awkward and my voice shakes, I’m very conscious about my height I’ve always been the shortest one in the room and in public events I feel like a small fish in a sea full of sharks.

When I was 24 I was very pessimistic and that was part of who I was, a negative person, constantly anticipating negativity, until I turned 27 I strongly believed that one day, my family will abandon me, my friends will leave me and I there will be no love in my life.. Thing is, I was getting more than enough validation from the people around me, but because of how negative I was, I thought none of it was true. Realize that, unless you believe in how good you are, none of what people say is true.

I was also insecure about the way I looked, because I was too short, I thought my head was too big, my breasts were too big and every kilo I gained showed in the wrong places, I was worried of wrinkles, smile lines, grey hair, pale skin, and every unfiltered selfie was a constant reminder of how imperfect I was. Thanks for that Snapchat.

I would have looked at my makeup-less face sometimes and see nothing that could give me the boost I needed to survive in this shallow, artificial, superficial world.

Instagram is to blame

All those negative comments repeatedly scream in your ears; A jerk might post a hateful comment on your post and leave, you may or may not respond, you may or may not think about it, but if you do you, it will leave a little scar, lower your self-esteem and make you feel like your worth amounts to nothing.

My advice is to delete, ignore and forget, as if it never happened because there is no middle way, you can’t please everyone.

Some people will like and appreciate, others will hate criticize no matter what you do. So, accept the both, improve yourself and your thoughts and move on. If you can control the voices in your head, you can control the voices you hear from others mouths.

So, the past year was all about working on myself as a person, reading more, educating myself, practicing my hobbies and sharing my thoughts with people, it takes a lot of willpower to rise above your insecurities so, a warm salute to all the confident ones out there.

I still have some insecurities, they lie in each and everyone of us, it is us who choose to let it take over or disregard and keep it away. I choose to keep it away and see beauty in everything I do, no doubts and a lot less fear, after all Allah said: “We have indeed created man in the best of moulds”

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Comments

  • Zainab salmab

    Dear zahra,
    I, myself grew up with a very low self-esteem. I didn’t understand why is everyone so beautiful and i was the ugly duck around people. This kind of thoughts have deprived me from enjoying life and laughing my heart out because i was always thinking about how I looked.
    However, being an artist and focusing on drawing as a hobby and talent has given more power and confidence. Because you get to see yourself grow and improve on your own.
    Today, at age 24, a momy for a child, i say embrass your flaws and live life like there’s no tomorrow
    Thank you for discussing such a topic, it is truely important to fight wrong beauty standards around social media and protect the coming generation from such experiences

    September 20, 2017
  • Fatema Habib

    Who cannot relate to this?

    I believe that many people need to learn the importance of self-love. To know that we are imperfect and that is okay, and to embrace all the flaws and imperfections that we have. When we acknowledge our worth and put value for ourselves and our existence, we cannot seem to care about what others think of us. If I am this proud of who I am, how I look and what I do, what others think of me becomes less important, in fact, not important at all.

    Once this is learned, the fear and the problem of having all these insecurities start to fade away!

    September 20, 2017
  • Yusuf

    Excellent post on a topic uncommonly spoken about. I think it’s because of how media and the show business these days portray one’s image and beauty purely on appearances and how that set a very unrealistic beauty standard – if at all there is one. The thing about such insecurities is that it can withhold a person from ever achieving his/her true potential and if he/she cannot overcome these insecurities, then they’ll be missing out on a lot.

    Once again , excellent post.

    September 20, 2017
  • Walaa K. Turki

    Amazing post. I can relate to it and I cannot agree more with it ans the comments below. It is an important topic that most people shy away from it and refuse to share. I say share more you are not alone and perhaps together we can motivate each other to be the best version of ourselves. Thank you for sharing this part of your life.

    September 22, 2017